Memories in the Wind

 

September 2, 1978

What would you say to your 18 year old self?

That was one of those Facebook questions a few days go. My mother told me on this day, 43 years ago, "You don't have to go through with this, we can just have a party and go home."  I would say the same thing to my 18 year old self. "You don't have to marry him." I felt I did. Five years later when he cheated on me with my best friend I wished that I had listened to my mom. 

So many times I wished my children had listened to me, but they are all doing well. I am doing well. We all have life experiences that are unpleasant. We all grow from these experiences and hopefully become wiser, kinder, and more understanding people.

same Bitmoji

What is going on in this world?

    49 weeks ago I made this my Bitmoji. I've lost 20 pounds since then. I have longer hair and a perm. I got permanent lip makeup since wearing makeup with a mask is impossible. For over a year now I have a mask in my purse or my face every day at work. The children wear the masks, the teachers wear the masks, the support staff, and cafeteria workers wear masks.  Doctors and nurses have been wearing them for nearly 100 years. It doesn't hurt us to wear the mask. It may be helping us stay healthy, I can hope.

    

 
    Molly sits in the window in her normal way, one paw on the glass. This evening one arm is calmly crossed over the other. In her world there is no Covid testing, no high gas prices, no extremely smoky air quality, and no masks. Just hummingbirds at the feeder, food in the dish, toys scattered all over the floor, and treats when I leave in the morning before locking her up in the bathroom. She also gets her wet treat when I get home in the kitchen. I would say her life is pretty sweet. Two years ago she was born some place off Gas Point Road in Cottonwood to live feral until I adopted her in March 2020. 

    She and I have that in common. We both were rescued from a scary life in Cottonwood and live in a safe and loving home now. Just us two girls, our books, our hummingbirds and my computer. I have completed 30 university units since she came to live with me. By 2023 they tell me I will have my bachelor's degree in Elementary Education.

    Through my Classified School Employee Union I can take classes full time for free. They are through a university in Ohio that is comprehensive and includes the ECE classes for teaching Transitional Kindergarten. Last week I got the opportunity to test my skills as we had a substitute teacher that had no kindergarten experience. Sadly, he also had no computer experience either. I took over for him  and taught the class for four hours while he help me. 

    The schools are the shortest staffed I have every seen. This week entire schools closed their doors and parents could come pick up packets as their were not enough people well enough to care for the students. Today I heard that one of the schools I formally worked at has no support staff. Seven aids are out for Covid related situations or have quit all together.

    The governor told us no more distance learning. So, for 21/22 school year the students just stay home without learning? That makes no sense. We get a $500 incentive to get a Covid shot from the governor, however, our students have only a thin piece of cloth to protect them. Some people say this is all a bunch of B.S. I see the death rate, the hospital closing off two floors for 90 people who are sick enough to be in the hospitals and scared people. That is real.

   

Hope

    I choose to be one who will make a difference. Every day I show up and smile at the children as they have their masks off on the playground. I teach them the simplest thing like "thumbs up, make a bed, your left hand is a 'B' and your right hand is a 'D'. B-E-D spells bed." So simple, but it makes a great difference to a 2nd grader who is having trouble remember which letter faces which way. 

    Friday is music day. I take a karaoke machine to the playground. We dance and sing.  I had 5th grade boys request songs from Frozen II today. No one can keep from smiling while a 10 year old by is singing a Frozen song.

"Into The Unknown"
(feat. AURORA)
(from "Frozen 2" soundtrack)

Ah ah oh oh oh
Ah ah oh oh oh oh oh oh

I can hear you but I won't
Some look for trouble while others don't
There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day
And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away, oh oh oh
Ah ah oh oh
Oh oh
Ah ah oh oh

You're not a voice
You're just a ringing in my ear
And if I heard you, which I don't
I'm spoken for I fear

Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls
I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls
I've had my adventure, I don't need something new
I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Into the unknown
Into the unknown
Into the unknown
Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh oh oh

What do you want? 'Cause you've been keeping me awake
Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake?
Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me?
Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?

Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow
Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go…

Into the unknown?
Into the unknown
Into the unknown
Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh

Oh oh oh
Are you out there?
Do you know me?
Can you feel me?
Can you show me?
Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh
Ah ah oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

Where are you going?
Don't leave me alone
How do I follow you
Into the unknown?
Oh oh oh